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How Often Should Couples Have Sex?

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For the newly married, sex is almost unpredictable, as the frequent, spontaneous sex that happens in honeymoon and during the subsequent weeks after marriage is said to be the new couple’s ways of getting to know each other and adjusting to their new status.

For older couples, however, the situation may be a lot different, as the family may have grown, and both partners have settled down to the realities of life, which can sometimes push sex to the back burner if couples don’t make conscious efforts to rev up things occasionally.

While experts agree that daily sex is virtually impossible for most busy people, they also warn that more sex isn’t necessarily a proof that all is well with a relationship.

Sex experts say that typically, most couples will only find the time to have sex once a week; while some research suggests that happier couples have sex three to four times a week.

But the question remains: how often should couples have sex?

Except in situations where couples are trying to achieve pregnancy, a 2016 study by some American scholars suggest that couples who had sex four or more times a week weren’t any happier than those who did it weekly.

They are of the view that not having sex daily allows you to find a time when both of you are feeling relaxed enough to become aroused.

“The longer you go without sex, the more the pressure is on to have sex for longer next time,” the researchers advise.

The bottom line: The only question you really need to answer is this: Are you both happy with the amount of sex you’re having? If the answer is yes, you’re doing just fine. (Punchng.com)

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How Childbirth Changes Vagina, Affects Sex Life |The Republican News

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The vagina is a muscular tube, it has many folds which allow it to expand during sex and childbirth.

Physicians say there are very few changes to the internal vaginal structure after birth, as it’s designed to stretch and return to its original state.

However, many women are worried about tightness and some new mums have opened up with searing honesty about the effects of childbirth on their vaginas.

“While the process of the baby coming down the birth canal should cause no lasting damage or structural changes to the internal vaginal structure, the way in which the baby is delivered can affect the vaginal opening. This has an impact on the appearance and sexual function after childbirth,” says a gynaecologist, Sally-Jane Cameron.

Sally-Jane notes that tearing, stitches and episiotomies all leave scar tissue that can be painful during intercourse.

Indeed, experts say the biggest strain on the pelvic floor muscles comes from pregnancy and not from the birth process itself.

Nine months of growth and pressure, regardless of delivery type, will affect how these muscles function, physicians insist; and everyone that has been pregnant has got some sort of change in the vagina ultimately.

The pelvic floor can suffer a prolapse, and you can pee into your panties when you laugh or sneeze hard.

However, research shows that women who delivered by Caesarean section do not experience significant difference in symptoms of incontinence when rated against women who delivered vaginally.

Incontinence is lack of voluntary control over urination or defecation.

The solution

Sally-Jane counsels that pelvic floor exercises do help a lot after delivery.

“Kegel muscle exercises are a must for every woman who is pregnant or has had children to tone the pelvic floor and vaginal muscles,” she suggests.

A-B-C- of Kegel muscle exercises

1. Find the muscles you use to stop urinating.
2. Squeeze these muscles for three seconds. Then relax for three seconds. …
3. Add one second each week until you are able to squeeze for 10 seconds each time.
4. Repeat this exercise 10 to 15 times per session. …
5. Don’t do Kegels while you urinate.

(Punchng.com)

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To Keep His Girlfriend, Man Allows Her To Freely Have Sex With Other Men

A love-struck man has said that he allows his girlfriend to have sex with other men in order to keep her, among other reasons.

However, while his 22-year-old girlfriend, Beatrice, could bed as many men as catches her fancy, 27-year-old Adam cannot date other women, as that would hurt the love of his life.

Adam became struck with the large-breasted Beatrice when they met at a pub in 2014 and had sex together the same day.

He fell irredeemably in love with her immediately, but they didn’t meet again until April 2015, when they started dating.

To keep her in his life, Adam allows his other half to have sex with anyone she likes in a deal they struck one month into their relationship, but she “couldn’t handle it” if he slept with another woman, the Sun reports.


Irresistible: Beatrice Gibbs

Lover boy: Adam Gillet

Beatrice explained how she attempted to end things with Adam a few weeks later, as she knew she couldn’t be faithful.

“I didn’t want to hurt him by going behind his back with someone else,” she said.

Adam wasn’t willing to give up that easily and had a novel idea to make their relationship work.

“He was devastated and suggested we stay together, but I could sleep with other people, as long as I told him who and when.”

Eighteen months into the deal, they are still happy with the arrangement.

Beatrice calls it the “perfect situation”, being able to have a stable relationship but also have fun on the side.

But Adam isn’t allowed to sleep with other women, as he knows his partner wouldn’t be happy about it and it could break them up.

By her own admission, Beatrice “couldn’t handle” it if Adam did the same thing to her, saying she would “hate it.”

Asked if she feels guilty about the deal, she said no.

She admits that sometimes she feels a bit bad the morning after sleeping with someone else, but things quickly get back to normal after a cuddle and a chat.

What many men might take issue with in this deal is that Adam isn’t allowed to stray, but he’s not bothered by this.

“I’m happy for her to enjoy herself,” he said. “I’m not really interested in chasing other women and I know if I did, then

Beatrice wouldn’t be happy about it.”

Adam said it “takes the worry” away about his girlfriend cheating on him, adding: “If I let her sleep with other people she comes back to me.”       (The Sun)

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To Enjoy Long Life, Quit Having Sex |The Republican News

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Scientists have suggested that they have finally found a recipe for long life: total abstinence from sex!

The University of Sheffield researchers rest their findings on the belief that nuns — who are believed to stay away from sex completely — tend to live longer.

Refraining from having sex will help you live longer than all your peers, the study found.

The scientists discovered that mealworm beetles live for longer if they avoid mating; while those who tried to produce offspring each day passed away at a much younger age.

Mating was found to release a hormone in the insects needed to produce sperm in a male or eggs in a female. But this was also found to have a negative effect on their immune system, the researchers found.

This makes them vulnerable to potentially deadly infections, as their body’s natural ability to fight rogue bacteria is compromised.

Though the mechanism is not necessarily the same in humans, study author, Dr. Michael Siva-Jothey, believes the principle can be applied.

He said: “Nuns tend to have a longer lifespan than women with children; and most people know of someone with a maiden (unmarried) aunt who seems to live forever.

“The question is, why? The beetles which mate die sooner than the beetles which don’t mate.”

Humans also have weaker immune systems during sex, which explains how STIs can be easily spread, he added.

Nuns, priests, vicars and monks are known to live longer than others — but not for their religious protection.

It is believed that their low rates of high blood pressure — which increases the risk of heart disease and stroke — are responsible.   (Punchng.com)

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Experts Stunned As Women Rush For Designer Vaginas | The Republican News

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A rush of women going under the knife for designer genitals has taken even plastic surgeons by surprise and divided medical professionals on the ethics and benefits of “labiaplasty”.

In 2015, more than 95,000 women worldwide underwent the procedure, according to data from the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS).

Most often, labiaplasty involves trimming back the inner “lips” or labia minora flanking the vaginal opening, in a procedure that is also known as nymphoplasty.

It was the 19th-most popular surgical procedure in 2015, followed by “vaginal rejuvenation” — usually tightening of the vaginal canal — in 22nd place with just over 50,000 procedures.

“I trained in the ’80s and if you had told me that you could imagine that this is happening know, I would think you were crazy,” Renato Saltz, a plastic surgeon from Utah and ISAPS president told AFP.

In the United States alone, 2015 saw nearly 9,000 labiaplasties done — a 16 percent increase from the previous year, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).

Older data is not available — growth in the sector has been explosive in the past few years.

“Women have become much more concerned about the appearance of their genitalia,” ASAPS board member and New York plastic surgeon Nolan Karp told AFP.

Why? The internet.

“How many nude women, before the internet, would a woman see in her lifetime?” he asked. “Not many, you know, very carefully looking at… genitals.”

People today, he added, “understand what is pretty, what is normal, what looks good, what doesn’t look good.”

Much of what men and women see, however, does not in any way resemble the variety of shapes and sizes in which the female genitalia exist.

– The ‘Barbie look’ –

“It’s very concerning,” said Dorothy Shaw, former head of the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada (SOGC), referring to the “standard” being pursued.

Designer vulva resemble those of a young girl.

“They have no hair and they’re very flat, so you just see sort of a slit,” Shaw explained.

In reality, “it’s not as though the majority would look like a young girl. They don’t.”

A study published in 2005, found “far greater diversity” in genital shape and size than had ever been documented in scientific literature.

In the 50 women studied, labia minora length varied from two to 10 centimetres (0.8-3.9 inches), and width from 0.7 to five centimetres.

Given the variety, the authors said, it was “surprising that surgeons feel confident that surgery has the potential to achieve a ‘normal’ female genital appearance.”

Yet, the fad has taken root like many others before it.

While women can suffer real discomfort from protruding inner labia chafing, many use it as an excuse, the experts said.

“We know that in about 40 percent of cases when women ask for a nymphoplasty to relieve pain… they lie,” gynaecologist and plastic surgeon Nicolas Berreni told AFP.

“What they really want is the ‘Barbie’ look. On Barbie, you don’t see the inner labia,” he said on the sidelines of the IMCAS aesthetic congress in Paris.

– Chronic pain –

It’s not just a question of personal taste — there are health risks too.

“I have colleagues who see women who have chronic vulvar pain” after labiaplasty and other cosmetic procedures, said Shaw, a retired gynaecologist.

“Any time you cut off a piece of tissue, there’s a chance of bleeding, of infection and then subsequently of scarring,” she explained.

“When you get scarring… you have a risk of catching nerve endings in that scar tissue which will then cause pain or discomfort going forward.”

Shaw expressed particular concern about teenagers having labiaplasty before their physical development is complete.

“The inner lips in normal development become much more prominent (in adolescence), and as the outer lips grow, that changes,” she explained.

“We need a way to help particularly young women understand that their bodies are still developing, they may not look like that in a few years, and that they may be harming themselves in a way that could be permanent.”

Shaw helped develop guidelines for female genital cosmetic surgery for the SOGC.

The document stresses there is little evidence of surgery improving either sexual satisfaction or self image.

And it warns such procedures must “not contravene laws regarding female genital mutilation.”

FGM involves the removal of the clitoris and labia, sometimes of very young girls against their will, in a misguided effort to reduce libido and keep women “chaste”.

It is often performed in the name of religion, and is controversial in countries trying to save girls and women from genital mutilation — some of the same countries where labiaplasty is becoming a fashion statement.

AFP

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How To Make Distant Relationship Work |The Republican News

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In the past, it was largely uncommon for couples to live distance apart. The belief then was that out of sight was truly out of mind. Then, people would gladly give up juicy employment opportunities and any other thing necessary just to live with their spouses. They believed that it was a matter of necessity for couples to live together for the marriage to work, and that anything short of that could crash the union.

But now, so much has changed. Couples now live far apart, and in some cases, they live in different countries, usually out of job demands or education pursuit. It is even more so as women now form a significant percentage of the workforce unlike how it used to be.

Interestingly, there have been divided opinions as to which is better, between living with one’s partner under the same roof or living distance apart.

A study conducted by researchers from Queen’s University and University of Utah in the United States found that long distance relationships tend to have positive outcomes, against people’s belief. They found that, all things being equal, couples in such relationships tend to communicate more, share more intimate thoughts with each other and nurture the relationship than those who live together and tend to take things for granted. This is even more so as no couple can be in distant relationship forever.

One of the researchers, Dr. Karen Blair, a psychologist, said, “From our findings and interactions with participants, comprising couples who live together and those who live apart, we found that the further apart the couple was, the better they were doing with respect to satisfaction, intimacy and communication. Long-distance forces the couples to work on some of the areas of relationship maintenance that geographically close couples may take for granted, and often overlook.”

On the other hand, some people believe the best way to have marital happiness is for couples to live together, no matter the circumstance, especially given the benefit of meeting each other’s sexual needs anytime the need arises.

Regardless, given that it is sometimes inevitable for some couples to live apart, there are tips that can help such persons to make the most of their times apart:

Stay in touch moderately: It is a given for couples who live apart to think the best way to make their relationship work is for them to talk or chat many times a day, but this might not be true. No doubt, communication is vital in this kind of relationship, and the absence of it can bring the marriage to an end quickly, but some experts have observed that such couples should avoid excessive and unsustainable communication. They explained that once the two persons are already used to talking or chatting many times a day, anything short of that frequency from one person could send a wrong signal to the other person. As a way out, a post on wikihow advised such couples to understand their partner’s preferred mode of communication and work around their schedules to create time for their partner. It added, “If you know you’re going to be too busy to communicate, let your partner know in advance and try to stay in contact as best as you can. If you’re not as busy as your partner, remain flexible and focus on something of interest to you.” Also, such persons are advised to make sure they say hello to each other in the morning and at bedtime. And from time to time, couples are also advised to share pictures, exchange video calls, share audio messages to strengthen the intimacy.

Always open up to your partner: While this is closely related to the previous point, it serves another purpose entirely. Findings have shown that people tend to develop intimate relationship for people they confide in, which is often a product of empathy. Thus, couples in distant relationships are advised to share every, yes every, of their thoughts with their partners, no matter how trivial or mundane it is. This is because once a man or woman has another person of the opposite sex they can confide in, that could lead to gradual alienation of affection, leading to diversion of thoughts and perhaps infidelity. So, as a way out, the post advised that such couples should talk about everything as if they live together, including going for shopping, when cooking or eating, when going to have a bath, etc., so as to promote the feeling of interdependence and boost their relationship.

Reach a compromise: According to a developmental psychologist, Prof. Esther Akinsola, even though it is unavoidable for couples to live apart sometimes, it could be a very difficult experience. Thus, such couples should agree on how frequently they should visit each other and ultimately work towards staying together “even if one of them needs to change job.” She said it is even more important if they already have children. She added, “If they already have children, they have to do something that would bring the family together. As a developmental psychologist, I can tell you that a child needs the input of a father and a mother to have a balanced growth. You cannot be a father and you are several kilometres away from your children and they don’t see you. All they know is that they have a father. That is not going to help that child. So, people who live apart must plan ahead on how to come together eventually.”

Visit each other frequently: To avoid being a victim of that popular saying that out of sight is out of mind, couples are advised to visit each other at every given opportunity. And according to Akinsola, the need for frequent visitation in this case could not be overemphasised. She said it would even be helpful if they agree on a definite schedule that both of them could look forward to.

Never forget important events: Findings have shown that one of the many ways to assure a partner that the love they have for each other is intact is for couples to keep track of notable dates, because people could become very touchy when important dates, like birth dates and wedding anniversary are forgotten. Experts said forgetting a partner’s birthday could make the partner feel forgotten or unimportant. And in such cases, they noted that such oversight could be unforgivable. So, as a way out, make good use of your reminder to keep track of notable dates to reassure your partner of your love. This goes along with rendering support for each other, even from the distance. The post on wikihow added that couples need to make themselves available when needed so their partner would know they care. “If your partner ends up dealing with important issues alone, your partner will eventually not need you,” it added.

Discuss your expectations: One issue that facilitates distrust and causes ripples in many homes is when expectations are not met. And this can be worse when couples are far apart. For example, the woman might expect a phone call from the husband thrice a day, while the man might think once is good enough. This variation could breed conflict in the marriage. Hence, as a way out, Akinsola advised that both of them need to agree on what their expectations are, which would make it easier to measure their respective commitments to each other.

Discuss your sexual needs: It will be unrealistic and somehow deceptive for couples living apart to shy away from discussing their sexual needs, because it is an important issue in marriage that must be discussed. Thus, a post on lifehack.org advised that couples should keep their fantasies alive and plan ahead of their next meeting. It added that they could send each other “teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions.”

Do away with jealousy: To some, jealousy is seen as a symbol of true love, and living apart could reinforce such doubt, even based on mere suspicion, but for the sake of the relationship, people in distant relationships are often advised to trust their partners. Believing that a partner would remain faithful is one good way to operate in an atmosphere devoid of rancour and it helps to trust, which is often described as a basic ingredient for a successful relationship.

Other tips suggested by the post included knowing how to apologise, making sacrifices to make the partner happy, avoiding threats of giving divorce, respecting each other’s differences and opinions, give each other pet names and keeping each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

The post also advised such couples to stay positive, give their partner a personal object to hold on to, to enhance remembrance and fondness, stay honest with each other, do things together, like watching the same programme at the same time and be familiar with each other’s schedule and goals.  (Punchng.com)

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China’s NextEV New Electric Supercar Is The World’s Fastest |The Republican News

 

Andrew J . Hawkins

This could be the world’s fastest electric car: the NIO EP9. So claims the manufacturer, China’s NextEV, which unveiled its new NIO brand of electric cars at a London art gallery today. How fast are we talking about here? NextEV, which also has a Formula E team, says its electric supercar achieved a new lap record at the the Nürburgring Nordschleife racetrack, a legendary German racetrack where supercar speeds are vetted. On October 12th, the EP9 lapped the 12.9-mile (20.8-kilometer) “Green Hell” track in 7 minutes and 5.12 seconds. That’s probably thanks to its wicked 1,390-horsepower engine, because holy crap, that’s fast.

NextEV is part of a new wave in electric carmakers that are hoping to challenge Tesla

That’s a lot of information (and nationalities) in one paragraph so let’s break it down. NextEV is part of a new wave in electric carmakers that are hoping to challenge Tesla as the top seller in the market. Others include Faraday Future, LeEco, Lucid Motors, and the now-bankrupt Fisker Karma. But whether any can hope to topple Tesla from its top perch will depend entirely on their ability to sell cars in volume.

It’s not clear what NextEV’s strategy will be: mass-market cars for regular people, or luxury supercars for one-percenters? They seem to be starting with the low-volume brand building supercar to wow the market, but then who knows which strategy they will ultimately pursue. In a statement, NextEV Chair William Li said, “We believe that when the car ownership experience exceeds expectations, electric vehicles will become the natural choice for everyone, leading to a more sustainable tomorrow.”

a top speed of 194 mph

What is clear is the Chinese startup (with an office in Silicon Valley, naturally) is emphasizing speed and performance at the outset. With four high-performance inboard motors and four individual gearboxes, the EP9 can deliver 1-megawatt of power. The supercar can accelerate from 0–124 mph (0–200 kph) in 7.1 seconds and has a top speed of 194 mph (313 kph). With an interchangeable battery system, the EP9 is designed to be charged in 45 minutes and has a range of 265 miles (427 kilometers).

How does that compare to Tesla’s Model X? It’s a shorter per-charge range, 265 miles compared to 315 miles for the Model X. And its 0–60 mph acceleration falls short as well, 2.7 seconds versus Tesla’s 2.5 seconds. We probably won’t know which is faster until both electric cars go head-to-head on the Green Hell.

The EP9’s design is thoroughly arresting: hulking wheels, a sleek physique, and a piercing face with headlights that look like slits. The sculpted haunches give it a very McLaren-esque appearance. This would definitely turn some heads.

They may still be upstarts, but NextEV has some big names backing its venture. Investors include Tencent, Temasek, Sequoia Capital, Lenovo, TPG, and others. And naturally, the company has aspirations in the world of autonomous driving. In October, NextEV applied for an Autonomous Vehicle Testing Permit from the California DMV to begin testing self-driving cars on public roads. NextEV says the EP9 features an “integrated e-control structure and sensor system layout” that can eventually accommodate autonomous driving technology. ( The Verge)

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