Hon. Ojosu Sunday
MY PRO BONO COUNSEL TO APC PHOTOSHOPPERS IN A DOZEN…
PART ONE.
APC online propagandists, forgers and photo shoppers, listen up! Next time you are going to regale us with stories and pictures of Aisha in United States, can you kindly first do the following, please? :
1. Lend yourselves some sense. Contact Charles Ogbu for some; that guy’s got an abundance of it, it’s just so unfair. And I’m sure he’s not using it all
2. Once you’ve done 1, then you’ll automatically remember that the people you want to lie to are exceedingly more intelligent than yourselves. That way you’ll be more diligent and circumspect in trying to feed them a poorly packaged rubbish.
3. Choose an “arrival hall” with high ceilings and built of concrete. Americans don’t build their international airports with low-hanging ceilings made of flammable materials. They have building codes that don’t allow for that sort of construction.
4. Endeavour to budget a little more money (perhaps you did and Uncle Lai just pocketed the whole lot and set up a shoddy show) so you can actually get more than one miserable “white man” amongst your cast.
5. In continuation of 4 above, include some albinos (no disrespect to these lovely people) and some very light complexioned men and women in your paid-for cast (you’ll find an abundance of the later in Rivers (especially Port Harcourt), Cross Rivers, Enugu and Abia States; but then, they’ll most likely ignore you). That way people like Euphemia Udanoh and Ena Ofugara won’t make fun of you and call your self-created airport arrival hall “the blackest arrival hall” in American history.
6. Invest a little money on some nice shoes and American-styled runners for your cast. It demeans your American-wonder cast to have them wearing bathroom slippers up and down in an American airport arrival hall to welcome Madam Aisha American to her adopted country. It may be summer but the evenings and nights are quite cold for that kind of footwear in North America.
7. As part of 6 above, please invest a little of Nigeria’s money in buying them American-styled coats and winter jumpers to protect them against the punishing American weather, where temperatures could drop into single digits on even summer evenings and nights. Having your cast wear made-in-Aba t-shirts all over the place (while Madam Aisha in America is properly outfitted in her winter wears; smart woman, got her script right! ) makes it look like you carried out this shenanigans of yours somewhere in an airport on the Island of Sao Tome & Principe.
8. Employ some intelligent research fellow; one who will inform you that visiting wives of sitting Presidents do not use the general arrival halls of international airports; international protocol just do not allow that. They are usually shepherd to a VIP section of the airport for diplomatic and security reasons.
9. Those slippers-wearing and Aba t-shirts adorning praise-singers, do I see them singing and dancing inside an international arrival hall – probably shouting “APCshit!” too? Dear APC propagandists, that’s a no-no!!! Perhaps somewhere in Nairaland that could happen, but because your madam is actually in America, those singers, dancers and praise-singers inside the arrival hall of an international airport would have been collectively herded into jail for constituting themselves into public nuisance. Americans don’t take that kind of nonsense o, didn’t they tell you? You really need to borrow yourself a brain!!!
10. Please always remember to carry your national mouthpieces like NTA and Channels agents along when you’re about embarking on this kind of charade.
How do you think it made you look to have a whole wife of the dictator, sorry, President, Her Excellency, Lordess Aisha Halliburton Buhari, travel to a whole United States of America and only ragsheets like Sahara Reporters and Linda Ikeji blogs that will have given us feedbacks, ehn?
Okay, let’s assume Channels already borrowed itself some brains and refused to be part of the sham set-up, what about NTA? They are government’s propaganda piece ke, abi?
It’s disheartening to hear my dainty Aisha finally made it to God’s Own country, to the eternal shame of Ayodele Fayose, and not a word of it – I don’t even need the video – on any national or regional television channel!
11. And what about our friends at CNN, Aljazeera and BBC? I have remained glued to my DSTV screen ever since the news of Aisha in America broke but not one of these international news media even has something as simple as a byline on the historic visit of the wife of the President of the Black race’s greatest nation’s visit to the greatest country and largest democracy in the world? Let’s agree BBC is still smarting from Fashola’s less-than glorious outing on its channel a few days ago, what about our ever-ready-to-serve-at-a-price CNN? Somebody fumbled and dropped the ball here, people! Don’t let it happen again!!
